With Dragon*Con looming, I’ve been feeling much pressure to get started on my Halloween story. Actually, I wanted to have it finished before I left. Ever the optimist, me.
Anyway, I set aside my read-through of Petra for the nonce, in order to focus on the short story. I just wasn’t happy with the notes I had made. So I made some more. And then I made a few more. I forced myself to think about the third act. I figured that it’s one thing to begin an 80K novel with the ending still unclear–you still have time to come up with something–and quite another to attempt the same with a short story.
As the week wore on, I got sick of the whole thing. I started engaging in avoidance behaviors again, and that really pissed me off. So on Saturday, I forced myself into the chair and banged out some prose, 500 words of the opening. On Sunday, a big family do at our place made any further progress impossible.
So here I am with those first 500 words. And I don’t like ’em. I’m not even sure I like the story. It feels less like a fun challenge and more like homework. The thought of spending even the next few nights of my life tussling with it fills me with dread. I have to wonder if it’s even worth pursuing.
You must understand, this is not like me. Oh, sure, I’ve agonized over doubts before. But once I begin something, I finish it. That’s just how I operate. Normally. So for me to get 500 words into a story and then talk of abandoning it–well, something must be seriously wrong.
And then I got to thinking–and don’t you just know that’s when I get into the most trouble.
I don’t really want to abandon this story. I want to write some new prose, and if I don’t do it now, it won’t be until after I finish the Petra rewrite. It also occurred to me that maybe I just have the wrong opening for this piece. That wouldn’t exactly be unprecedented, would it?
My muse whispered an alternate opening to me late last night, one that might make the story a bit shorter, and more important, make it more believable to me. I think I’m going to give it a try. Once more unto the breach, dear friends . . .
Write Club update: Tier one reject from Heliotrope, for “Friends in Low Places.” Response time, sixteen days.
I leave for Atlanta on Thursday. Looking forward to seeing some of you there. It’ll be my first Dragon*Con, so I’m counting on some of y’all to show me the ropes. (No SFWA suite? No Tor party? Whatever will I do with myself?)
